Monday, May 27, 2024
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You Know You Are A Nurse When ……

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You know you’re a nurse when:

  • You look at everyone’s veins instead of their face when talking to them.
  • You don’t believe 90% of what you’re told, and 75% of what you see.
  • You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.
  • Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Polytank.
  • You don’t get excited about blood loss … unless it’s your own.
  • Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.
  • The medications in your home can fill a Drug Store
  • You only take your children to the hospital when they are dying
  • You view stress as a normal part of life.
  • Your finger has gone places you never thought possible
  • You tuck your sheet corners like they do in the hospital.
  • Your father in-law feels free to describe bodily functions to you, including texture and color.
  • You self-diagnose.
  • You’ve had to leave a patient’s room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.
  • You believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the phrase “Wow, it’s really quiet, isn’t it?”
  • Your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays.
  • You can’t imagine wearing heels after a day on your feet.
  • Family and friends call you to describe their injuries over the phone.
  • You believe any family member who is more drunk (or more stupid) than the patient, is the real problem.
  • You believe you have patients who are demonically possessed.
  • You look in your closet and can’t find anything non-medical to wear.
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