You know you’re a nurse when:
- You look at everyone’s veins instead of their face when talking to them.
- You don’t believe 90% of what you’re told, and 75% of what you see.
- You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.
- Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Polytank.
- You don’t get excited about blood loss … unless it’s your own.
- Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you.
- The medications in your home can fill a Drug Store
- You only take your children to the hospital when they are dying
- You view stress as a normal part of life.
- Your finger has gone places you never thought possible
- You tuck your sheet corners like they do in the hospital.
- Your father in-law feels free to describe bodily functions to you, including texture and color.
- You self-diagnose.
- You’ve had to leave a patient’s room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.
- You believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the phrase “Wow, it’s really quiet, isn’t it?”
- Your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays.
- You can’t imagine wearing heels after a day on your feet.
- Family and friends call you to describe their injuries over the phone.
- You believe any family member who is more drunk (or more stupid) than the patient, is the real problem.
- You believe you have patients who are demonically possessed.
- You look in your closet and can’t find anything non-medical to wear.
Now it’s your turn!
